Est. MMXXVI · A Humor Publication John Law · Editor

Hard to Find Good.Help

We’re all that’s left. Subscribe
The Back Cover

Preserve the Evidence Before the Dew Sets In

Preserve the evidence before the dew sets in and your family's facial expressions set permanently.

By John Law · May 30, 2026
sixteen of the last twenty-two specimens were the customer's own boot, worn backward
Keep reading
A period full-color farm-catalog advertisement for "Dr. Pettibone's Restorative Beak File," showing a small file with a wooden handle, a farm wife holding a hen, and a clip-out mail coupon.
The Help Desk

I Asked Four AIs to Comfort My Sad Chicken. The Kindest Answer Was a Beak File.

I asked four artificial intelligences to comfort my brother's sad chicken. Three handed me a maintenance schedule. The kindest answer was a beak file.
Read the rest →
A filled-out government form. Every field is correct except Status, where the typed word "Deceased" is crossed out by hand and replaced with "Negotiable."
The Help Desk

The form had him deceased. He crossed it out and marked the matter negotiable.

The government lost me in a filing error and, I have to say, the junk mail situation has improved considerably.
Read the rest →
O-BOG Bureau of Grievances form, filing GH-2024-11C-7, complaint: eleven-dollar coffee, two receipts required as proof; disposition: one receipt issued, matter noted.
Grievances
A single receipt, produced at point of sale, is not a receipt. It is a suggestion.
Read the rest →