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AI vs. AI

Four Machines, One Sad Hen

Four AIs, one mocked hen, and the kindest answer any of them could manage. The AI vs. AI strip from this week's Help Desk.

By John Law · June 8, 2026
Four Machines, One Sad Hen
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A period full-color farm-catalog advertisement for "Dr. Pettibone's Restorative Beak File," showing a small file with a wooden handle, a farm wife holding a hen, and a clip-out mail coupon.
The Help Desk

I Asked Four AIs to Comfort My Sad Chicken. The Kindest Answer Was a Beak File.

I asked four artificial intelligences to comfort my brother's sad chicken. Three handed me a maintenance schedule. The kindest answer was a beak file.
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A filled-out government form. Every field is correct except Status, where the typed word "Deceased" is crossed out by hand and replaced with "Negotiable."
The Help Desk

The form had him deceased. He crossed it out and marked the matter negotiable.

The government lost me in a filing error and, I have to say, the junk mail situation has improved considerably.
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O-BOG Bureau of Grievances form, filing GH-2024-11C-7, complaint: eleven-dollar coffee, two receipts required as proof; disposition: one receipt issued, matter noted.
Grievances
A single receipt, produced at point of sale, is not a receipt. It is a suggestion.
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